New Year, New Anxiety Goals….
This is the time of year people start thinking about their new year resolutions. Radio ads and newspapers come out with gym ads, your friends start posting that “This is THE year for losing weight,” or “This is THE year I quit drinking, or smoking.” Don’t get me wrong, those are great resolutions, and I hope it happens. My main resolution is often the same, and I usually keep it to myself; it is for my anxiety to get better. Anxiety and better do not belong in the same sentence but I try hard every day. Every day is a struggle but I feel like I have gotten better over the years.
Listen, there was some time not too long ago where I would not eat for days; I was so scared that everything I would eat would make me sick. It was a hectic time for me and my wife, I am not even sure how she put up with me. We would fight a lot over it, not because she was mad, but because she was worried. I was depressed and full of anxiety, 24-7! She got me through that, it was her that could get me through my roughest days when I did not want to get off the couch.
The days I had no energy and she would make me go downstairs and watch her make me something to eat for I knew it was okay to eat. It was rough, and every day I thank her for what she does to help me with my anxiety. I know it’s irrational thoughts but my brain does not give a damn. It does NOT CARE, and I hate it. I saw this meme a long time ago that says, “I just don’t want to look back and think, “I could have eaten that.” That one quote is my anxiety. Over the years, my anxiety with food has gotten better, the biggest thing is that I can eat food that my friends make. That is one thing that my wife and I did not do, go to a friends house for dinner. I would have a complete meltdown and who wants that. Our neighbors live across the street and OMG, we love them so much. The first time they invited us over for dinner, I was SCARED! What if I didn’t like their food? What if my stomach hurt? What if I got sick? What if what if what if! I would tell my wife and she would always say, “What if its good.” That helped me a lot and we went and it was DELICIOUS! Did I freak out after I eat and look at my wife with my anxiety eyes, YES!! Did she look at me and say, “You’re okay.” YES!! That is what she does, and I am OKAY!! I didn’t get sick, my stomach didn’t hurt, and the food was delicious. I have missed so many opportunities to go out with friends or invite friends over because I was scared I would have a anxiety attack, but I can not live like that. Anxiety will NOT go away in one day, I am 33 and I have had anxiety since I can remember. All I can do is work on myself. Work to be better and be healthy. Yes, my resolution might be the same every year but I am still a work in progress.
2017 is going to be a GREAT year!!! I am putting it out there and I have more resolutions for myself like eating better (I eat wayyyy to much sugar) and do more yoga!
I wish everyone a Happy New Year! Filled with happiness, joy, blessings and lots and lots of LOVE!!!!! ❤
Want to share your new year resolutions?
Keep Moving Forward.
Love – WBC